Sometimes I’m not fine. And sometimes I can’t explain why. It’s not that I’m saying I’m depressed, it’s just that there are days where it feels like there’s a dark cloud following me around.
I don’t want to face anyone, talk or be around people. All I want is to be in my own company, maybe lie in bed all day.
That might sound bad like there’s something wrong, but this is just-some days.
It seems that saying I’m not fine but can’t explain why isn’t good enough so it’s easier just to pretend when asked.
Why is it there always has to be some kind of explanation? Why does there have to be a reason for feeling low?
Today is one of those days.
I’m not depressed. I’m just not feeling so high and happy today. Is that wrong? Why should it be wrong? Why can’t that just be acceptable? Without someone uttering the word “hormonal”. Putting down how I feel, and the justification of that.
I’m not the type of person who likes to confide in people, share they’re deepest thoughts and look for support. A lot of the time when I do share things it’s either I’ve forgotten myself or I’ve just scratched the service of what’s really going on in my head.
Trust is a hard thing for me. I feel like it’s just easier when you rely on yourself. Push myself forward, deal with life myself and get by on my own accord. I have a wonderful family who are there for me, and I do talk with them, but even they can’t always be the ones I turn to.And even they don’t always accept the lack of reason for a mood.
I’m not really sure what I’m doing here. Funny how I can say all of this here and not to the people in my life that are closest to me.
I guess in my head I’m the only one reading this. After all I haven’t really told anyone I have a blog.
Sorry if this feels like I’m bringing the mood down. But honesty is real and I do not want my blog to be a place where things are sugar coated. This is life after all, my life. I’d consider myself an optimistic person, but everyday can’t be great.
I guess that’s one reason I’ve written this post and the other is because maybe someone will read this and hopefully understand what I mean.