I’m not too happy with myself. Since starting my job I’ve all but abandoned my blog. I need to get myself organised and make sure that I have drafts to upload during the week and avoid two weeks going by with nothing.
In one of my last posts I spoke about the summer and how I think it’s a bit over hyped in general.
One thing I referred to was it being know as bikini season. There’s a pressure put on girls every year to get themselves in shape and looking well. This is something I haven’t ever subject myself too. In fact in general I’m quite a lazy person.
I don’t go to the gym, I don’t go for walks/runs everyday and I certainly don’t regular follow along to YouTube fitness videos. In other words, I’m just not bothered.
But now the opposite to what should be the case has happened. (If that makes sense). Instead of getting my body to its fitness peak, I’ve actually gained weight.
This is the first time I’ve ever had a proper realisation that in fact I have gained weight.
I don’t know how much, but I do know that in the last two months my boobs and bum are bigger and my stomach area is definitely not as slim as it once was.
I haven’t really been doing much shopping because not much seems to look good on me right now and even the clothes I do own just don’t feel as good as they did.
It’s one of the hardest things for a girl, I’ll admit that. But I’m still not that bothered.
I know how this has happened and what I can do to fix it but I’m lacking that want/desire, that motivation to do anything.
I haven’t cried about the situation, but that’s partly because its feels wrong to cry about such a thing.And maybe also a little dramatic like is this really a thing to cry about or even just get in any way upset about.
So here’s the thing. Is this an issue? Why am I not more concerned? Am I just giving in to my lazy nature? denying there is an issue and just making excuses? I guess I’m still happy. Obviously I don’t love that I’ve gained weight but it just isn’t something that I want to do anything about right now.
Am I the only one? Do you guys understand what I’m saying? I didn’t think I’m making much sense to be honest.
I guess I just wanted to share these thoughts because it seems like all people do this time of year is talk about getting that perfect slim body and sharing images of women wearing bikinis- the go to image for inspiration, and inadvertently saying “this will make you happy if you look like this”.